Letters of Hope, I Hope

Women for Women matched me with a "sister" in Sudan named Monica who is in her early 30s, married, and cares for 5 children. My sponsorship allows her to attend a year long program that includes rights awareness education and job skills training so she can continue to support her family in the future. Monica also receives a portion of my sponsorship in direct aid so she can provide her family with basic necessities.

I am asked to write to Monica so that she knows someone in the world is supporting her. It's kind of weird to write to someone you hardly know anything about. I am told I may never receive response directly from Monica because most of the women in the program cannot read or write more than their name.

When I first received the information about our match, I wrote to introduce myself and provide Monica with a picture of me. This week I sent her a postcard from Ottawa thinking it might be interesting for her to see pictures of Canada's capital city. I also thought that a handwritten note would feel more personal. The Women for Women web site provides an option to write a letter online so I sent one using that method as well. That seems less personal but it will get to her more quickly.

All my letters have to go through the office in Washington, then they are forwarded to the office in Sudan. They have to be translated to Arabic and then read to Monica. It's a time consuming process that could take months. Anything that might be sent to me from Monica has to go through the same process in reverse.

So I just keep writing, hoping that my letters will eventually reach her and somehow be of benefit to my sponsored sister Monica.

Skeletons in the Closet

It's a very long and detailed process to become a Foster Parent. I had no idea.

I first applied in July or August, 2009. Initially, that just involved calling Family and Children's Services and sending in a completed form.

Then a Foster Parent Recruiter came to my house to get to know me a bit. Little did I know, she would give me a mountain of paperwork to assemble! This is the step they never mention on their web site or at the information night I attended. So I gathered 5 references, had a medical exam, copied my home and auto insurance policies, obtained a driver's abstract, obtained a police record (I'm clean which is good to know), and listed all the cities I've lived in, and in what years, throughout my life so they can check all Children's Aid records (I moved a lot so that was challenging). Oh, and I provided a family photo. I wouldn't be surprised if there were more items that I don't remember at the moment.

The next step was to attend PRIDE training (PRIDE = Parent Resources for Information, Development & Education) an evening a week for 9 weeks. I started the first week of 2010 and just completed the training this week. They cover all the issues that you can imagine might come along with foster kids. If you don't go running in the other direction within 9 weeks then you're very committed.

I do have a lot of questions about how a working single person manages the commitment to foster. They insist it can be done but I'm mainly concerned about childcare anytime I'm working and they are not in school. It can be expensive and that's one thing they don't pay for. The daily Per Diem is expected to cover food, toiletries, and extra use of household utilities and there isn't enough left over for childcare. So my Recruiter put me in contact with one of "many" single women who are fostering. It turned out that she had an adult daughter living with her and helping out until she retired. So I still have questions but I'm moving forward.

Now that my PRIDE training is completed, the next step is a SAFE home study. This does not mean that they come in to check that all your electrical outlets are covered, etc., which is a common misconception. SAFE = Structured Assessment Family Evaluation and involves probably 4 visits from a recruitment worker and supporting documentation. The supporting documentation refers to all the "homework" from the PRIDE training which was a lot of personal information about my own childhood that they will delve into more deeply. I anticipate they will be revealing all the skeletons in the closet!

There can be a long wait before you get to the top of a long, prioritized list of potential foster and adoptive parents waiting for their SAFE home study. However, there is a high need for foster homes for teens which I am interested in, so that makes me a priority. I'm told my home study is probably going to start within the next month. Stay tuned!